Saturday, February 19, 2011

Ramadhans in Paulsboro



The onset of Ramadhan inevitably brings with it many fond memories of my boys in Paulsboro, New Jersey. Their love for fasting is admirable as some of them would fast in Rejab, Syabaan and Ramadhan. The only drawback for me, as we usher in Ramadhan would be suhur...I remember I used to muse aloud, saying to myself, "...here we go again!"

The dilapidated building we proudly call our school had five apartments on the second floor and each apartment had two to three rooms. The boys shared one apartment which is linked to mine via intercom. So prior to heralding the revered month of Ramadhan, I would ask then via the intercom who wanted to fast so that I can wake them up for suhur. As fasting in the months of Rejab and Syaban were not mandatory, I thought it would be great training to encourage the younger ones to fast. That particular year, these revered months coincided with winter so it would definitely be easier as the days are significantly shorter and we'd break our fast at times as early as 4:20 in the afternoon. Inevitably, though, that would mean that the boys need to eat suhur around 2 or 3am in the morning.

Having made a mental list of those I need to wake up for suhur, I'd sleep early and would wake them up through the intercom. Suhur for the boys means either peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or cereal. Usually the older boys would volunteer to help serve the little ones out of our pantry and that would save me the trouble of waking up to serve them. The pantry is actually one of the smaller rooms in the other apartment which we converted into a pantry. In it is two big refrigerators, one vertical freezer and shelves and shelves of well-stocked condiments and east-meets-west grocery items. As if those were not enough, we also have two brimming big deep-freezers downstairs where we'd keep an entire cow that we'd slaughter at the farm alongside two to three lambs or goats and cases and cases of chicken parts, i.e wings and ribs.

Having been through horrible winters, blizzards and ice storms, I made it a point to keep my pantry, refrigerators and freezers well-stocked as I have this recurring nightmare where all my 25-30 boys would eat my husband and I alive if we didn't have enough food!! On the lighter side of things, a friend remarked that she should just bring her trolly and shop in my pantry instead of going to the neighborhood Walmart because it seemed that I was better-stocked that they were!! Besides, I was probably the only one that stocked both American and oriental groceries in this heavily Italian-populated borough.

These fasting tales rushed back into my consciousness as I was looking back at some old pix today for my class presentation. Many fond memories were curated throughout the 13 years we lived in USA. With the passage of time, one might have thought that all these memories would have faded but with the advent of each Ramadhan, a small fire would stoke it back into a satiated glow...and now instead of brimming my shelves with groceries, I'd brim it instead with stories from the past...even though we're straddled by distance, most of my boys are on my facebook and by posting these priceless pictures, it would rekindle the times we spent together, braving the odds and celebrating their achievements, however small they were. Their piquant commentaries in slang American English regale me and makes my day.

I remember how some first came to TGA with chips on their shoulders the size of Gibraltar but it didn't take long for my husband to transform them...even though at the end of each day we'd feel like leather bags that had taken a beating no cow would have endured, we would be satiated with a sense of fulfillment. Many times, too, we had to be deliberately obtuse as a post but persistence was the name of the game...There were times also, when hope was a scarce commodity, we'd placate ourselves and clamor for Allah's attention through prayers & muamalats; then we'd amble right back to face the seemingly endless kinks that came with nurturing, caring, feeding and educating these boys.

The boys at TGA came from varied circumstances. About 99.9% came from dysfuntional or single-parented families. Most have gone through a lot, some grew up on the pestilential streets of West and North Philly while some others came as far as upstate New York and Atlanta.

Both my husband and I had to run the academy ourselves, so we decided to divide the academy into three components: Taqwa is the islamic component, Gayong the silat component and Academy the academic component.

Now, back in Malaysia, as I settle myself into a comfortable niche, looking back, it seems futile to be frustrated. I read somewhere that frustration fosters resentment, and resentment breeds pain and with pain comes disillusionment...

Before the establishment of the academy, I thought myself as one who has never really had to face real adversity in life but throughout the 13 years of sweat, blood and buckets or tears, there were definitely times when I was on my knees, too overwhelmed to face the seemingly endless problems that plagued the academy. Looking back now, the students were actually the ones who taught me to fight back with the resilience of youth that I borrowed from them to strengthen my inner resolve. It was also these boys who taught me the true meaning of Islam. Not only that, it was also them who taught me the true meaning of submission to Allah when they spark the floors trying to race each other to the intercom each morning so that they can be the one to call the azan for Solatul Fajr!! All these from boys who used to spit forth streams of profanity!

On the nights of Rejab and Sya'ban, I'd wake the boys who wanted to fast through the intercom. It never fails...A few minutes later, there'll always be someone who'd change his mind and decides to fast...true enough. So, as I got out of bed to serve him a bowl of cereal, I thought to myself, where on earth do these boys get the resilience to fast at the tender age of 8? When I was their age, fasting meant gobbling an apple up behind the kitchen door when I thought no one was looking!! Nevertheless, as annoyance from being woken countless times throughout the night has yet to abate, came yet another gentle knock on my door, 'Assalamualaikum sister lisa, can I eat suhur?'...

Thursday, February 11, 2010

A Wistful Tale...

A family member was remanded a few months ago in Gemenchih; accused of four gruesome murders of his own kith and kin... In a society contingent on love and affection, especially for your own family members, it is unfathomable that such a tragedy can proliferate in our country. The massacre wistfully reminded me of a similar piteous incident that befell a student in the incipient years of our academy in USA.

University City as we knew it and embraced it, was the abode for two esteemed universities, namely Drexel University and University of Pennsylvania. As silat was a relatively new art in this particular academic city, we were fortunate that Malaysian students from both universities facilitated the introduction of the art by forming a Silat Club thus enabling us to use varsity facilities to promote and teach the art.

Among the many students who vetted the classes and ultimately signed up for class, was a young boy who was about 15. I got to know his mom who was a relatively new Muslim and was vehemently trying to steer her children in the right direction. Philadelphia in the early nineties was home to over 40,000 muslims but from various denominations. So it didn't come as a surprise to me that this particular mom was a little flummoxed as to which denomination she was supposed to subscribe to. But in my husband and I she found comfort and solace and as her son became part of our silat family, she was only too glad that finally there was someone that she could lean on, not just for spiritual support but for friendship as well.

One evening, I sat beside her as usual but this night she was a little agitated and was a little upset when the class didn't end exactly at 9pm. I tried to assuage her anxiety and told her to give it another 10 minutes or so. And just as class was dismissed, she quickly whisked her children out of the studio. Later that night, as I was about to perform Solatul Isha, she called and asked to speak to my husband. As he was busy at that time, I told her to call back but she said that she wanted my husband to teach her the recital of Ayatul Kursi and asked if we could record it in a cassette for her. Of course! I told her and promised to get it done as soon as possible.

Two days later, quite early, as I recalled, her son had called us to say that he can't attend class in the evening. As it was still early, I told him not to worry about it and I would relay the message to my husband. Thinking that it was the end of the conversation, I gave my salams and was about to hang up when he added with the most apparent difficulty, "My mom was murdered last night." I was stupefied and trembling from head to foot. I could not believe what I was hearing, hoping that it was a ghastly joke... In baited breath, he told us that his mother was stabbed 21 times by her live-in-boyfriend!! He courageously went to her aid when he heard her screaming in the master bed room upstairs but was stabbed twice in the melee. When the police finally came, the boyfriend was still stabbing her and they had to shoot him twice before he succumbed to his bullet-wounds.

A grotesque picture formed itself with dreadful clarity as we arrived at the house within fifteen minutes after receiving that phone call. I remembered how weak my knees were as I steeled myself to enter the house. A sense of insufferable gloom pervaded as we made our way into the living room. My stomach clenched as I see four or five of his younger siblings sitting in the corner, most with their arms around their knees, rocking themselves back and forth, shell-shocked. Other family members sat in silent and solemn repose. I didn't know what to say to them. She was grievously violated in one of the most appalling ways imaginable and their calmness spooked me....If a member of my family was brutally murdered, the scene would certainly be a little more palpable!!

Their biological father was being summoned but no one knew when he would come for them. Meanwhile, we looked around the room and none of their relatives would take care of them as they had their hands full. My husband and I looked at each other and before we knew it we were assigning rooms for them in our own house! At that time we had rented a 7 bedroom three-story house and had more than enough rooms to accommodate them. We just wanted them out of their house even though it would be impossible to consign to oblivion the images that are now, without a doubt, already indelibly imprinted in their young, innocent minds. They are obviously too young to fully grasp the nature of the unspeakable brutality that just befell their mother.

In the following days, word of the gruesome murder hit the streets and the outpouring of sympathy was immense but not unexpected. The muslim community banded and ensured that the family was given whatever was needed to overcome this horrific tragedy. I learnt a few days later that the boyfriend was overtly possessive and abusive. That explained her anxiety each time the class was late in ending. I tried not to blame the murder on her being late coming home from class that particular night but I was told that the boyfriend would get physically abusive if he got home before she did...

And as for my student, he went on to be a respectable martial artist in the community and helped us take many kids off the pestilential streets of West Philly...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

50 MARTIAL ARTS MYTHS

My 1st book on Martial Arts Myths is out on Amazon.com
Become a more informed martial arts enthusiast, teacher or student by discovering what really lies behind the legends of the world's different fighting systems. Comprehensively researched, carefully organized, and packed with fascinating details about the history, development and culture of martial arts, 50 Martial Arts Myths reveals the truth about martial arts and the stories they've generated.

* Discover where black belts come from and what they really mean!
* Learn why girls often make the best martial artists.
* Understand why soft martial arts can pack the hardest punches.
* You'll learn why practicing martial arts can actually reduce aggression
* the amazing truth behind top secret "dim mak" techniques

50 Martial Arts Myths is essential for anyone interested in martial arts-- whether experienced martial artist or a new student -- who wants to understand the real story behind the world's martial arts styles.
Go to: http://www.amazon.com/Martial-Arts-Myths-Sulaiman-Sharif/dp/0967754623/

Book Back Cover Reviews

"As a student, fan, and now a professor of both martial arts as well as martial art movies, I'm pleased that Sulaiman Sharif has finally debunked the myths that many of my readers and students have long held dear. As I say to them: it's not win or lose, it's learn or not learn. Read this entertaining, fascinating book to truly win."

- Ric Meyers
Author, Editor, Professor
Martial Arts Movies book
Inside Kung Fu magazine
University of Bridgeport Martial Arts Degree Program

"Well Written, Informative and About Time"
- Sifu Guru Dan Donzella
Garuda Chuan-fa/Tjimande

"It's great to see a book that addresses so many martial arts myths. Hopefully, those thinking of getting involved in the martial arts will read this book so they will be able to discern what is real from what is not."
- Guru Sean Stark
Author of three martial arts books
Founder of Pencak Silat Pertempuran

"Thoughtful, Well Presented, and a Fun Read"

Sulaiman Sharif Exposes"50 Martial Arts Myths" in New Book for Martial Arts Teachers, Students and Enthusiasts

Aimen's book on Martial Arts Myths is now on sale on Amazon....for more information please click the link below:


Sulaiman Sharif Exposes"50 Martial Arts Myths" in New Book for Martial Arts Teachers, Students and Enthusiasts

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Monday, July 13, 2009

Gayong Bukit Mahkota Rocks !!

 

 

 

 


(12th July, 09)
The barefooted youngsters of The Bukit Mahkota Gayong Chapter nonchalantly shrug off the afternoon sun and put up an awesome and spirited performance. It was simply delightful to watch them execute their orchestrated moves. Congrats and thanks a gazillion to the instructors who prepared them for the show. So, prowlers who are bent on taking advantage of BM residents, BEWARE of these young warriors, they ROCK!!






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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

TGA's version of the Shaolin Temple...

 


Taqwa Gayong Academy (TGA) was founded on three components that were crucial to aid the reformation of our wayward students.

First and foremost is Taqwa which is the Islamic concept of "God-consciousness" or higher consciousness. Having taqwa allows a person to be constantly aware of both God's all-encompassing knowledge and attributes and a reminder of their relationship and responsibility to God as his creation and servant. The scholars explain that the way to taqwa is through obedience of God, avoiding disobedience, and striving to stay away from doubtful matters. It is awareness of God as one moves through life.

When the students arrive at our doorstep, religion wasn't even in their vocabulary. Take Yusuf and Malik,(aged 6 and 8 respectively),for example, two brothers of Sudanese origin who were left to fend for themselves for two weeks in the thick of winter in front of a seven-eleven store. When they came to the school, the only thing Islamic about them were their names...

Then, there were also those who were fostered by Christian families, like Sharon and Amando, aged 5 and 7, who in return for their kindness, brought these unsuspecting foster families to the brink of nervous breakdowns. Sharon's mom and sister died of AIDS when he was 5 and although he wasn't infected at that time, the doctors didn't leave anything to chance and prescribed anything and everything under the sun to ensure that he wasn't infected with the disease. Dad, meanwhile was serving a 15 year sentence for rape...So, when Sharon came to us at 6, he brought with him his case file, which was about 6 inches thick and a whole x-large ziplock bag of pills to be taken everyday...By that time he was also taking Ritalin as he was diagnosed with ADHD. The first thing we did was send the bags of pills home with the foster mom and though it was difficult for him at first, as he had to quit, cold-turkey!! But he nevertheless persevered and was drug-free for the rest of the time he was with us.

Amando, meanwhile had been suspended from kindergarten 6 times!! The first thing we did for these kids was to make them Muslims. At this point their foster parents didn't care if they were Jews or Muslims..."Make them something!!" they pleaded with us. I remember one weekend Sharon's foster mom took him home and a few hours later, we received a frantic phone call from her, begging to send him back. "If you don't allow me to send him back, I'm gonna shoot him, Brother Sulaiman!!" she begged hysterically on the phone...

With cases like this, the first treatment was to inject them with high doses of taqwa. They were taught to purify themselves physically first by ablution and taught to perform solat. Each morning, I'd wake them up through the intercom and we'd perform Solatul-Fajr together and after that sit for an hour reciting the muamalat which is a compilation of Surahs from the Quran, salawat nabi (which was about 17 pages long...), Dua jamilah, Ganzal Arsh and Dua Akasah. After this session, they would recite Muqaddam and Quran, and learn Quranic Vocabulary for Juz Amma. In the evening, after Solatul Isha, we'd read them stories from "Irshad" or Tales of the Prophet. They loved these stories and could be heard re-telling them to newcomers.

Their accomplishment in this particular component was truly amazing. Some of the senior students were not only able to memorize the entire Juz Amma in a matter of three months but the meaning of each word in English as well. For their tests, I would mix words from all the surahs in Juz Amma and they were able to translate them word for word. And if one were to recite a long surah like Surah Balad, for example, another could be heard translating it in English...

By instilling Taqwa in these kids, I, myself found the beauty of Islam as I was able to witness their transformations through my teary eyes. When they first came, all we heard was "f this and f that" and rap songs which were riddled with profanities but three months into their stay, they were singing songs from Raihan and reciting Asma-ul-Husna. Unbelievable!!

The next element in the academy was of course the gayong component which was an extremely grueling and physical form of Silat. This was done after school. Class was over at 3 pm and at for three solid hours they'd be subjected to exercises, drills and warrior arts skills. The students really enjoy these sessions with Aimen and their spirit reverberated through the entire tiny town of Paulsboro. There were times the neighbours would call the cops on us because the students would sometimes train after Fajr (which in New Jersey could be as early as 4am in the morning!!) Amando was the most resilient of them all. He was only 6 at that time and could leap over 9 adults!!

Next came the third component which is academic. Since most of our students were expelled or suspended from public schools, we had to homeschool them. So even if technically they were, for example, supposed to be in 5th grade, we'd probably have to pull them two grades back so they could recover whatever they missed in school. With only the two of us as teachers, Aimen and I would split the kids into two groups and teach them everything ourselves from English to Social Studies. It is also worth noting that when Sharon left our school we pulled him back to third grade but because of his excellent scores, he was able to enter the fifth grade.

So, TGA became like a Shaolin Temple for these kids. They got to live with their teachers, eat with their teachers, pray with their teachers and train with their teachers. Prior to this, most of them would be roaming the streets till 2-3am in the morning and at times cops had to be summoned to round them up. At TGA however, they couldn't even make it past Isha for I remember one night, as soon as we gave salams at the end of the prayer, a few of them didn't even make it pass the first sujud as they were already sound asleep!!

At one point they got rather big-headed. We treated them to the greatest Shaolin show called "The Wheels of Life" that was held in Atlantic City and guess what they said after watching that show, "We can dust them anytime, Sister Liza!!"...


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